1. I Hate My Husband Pie: A bittersweet chocolate pie drowned in caramel. It tastes delicious but it leaves you feeling a little miserable afterwards. 2. Enchanted Rose: A rose in a glass container that glows with a faint pink light. It looks magical, but on closer inspection, it's actually battery-powered. 3. Green Elixir: Have another drink, my dark-eyed beauty... A green liquid in a small bottle made of frosted green glass. Drinking it will reveal that it is 1) very tasty and 2) straight absinthe. 4. Bandage Wrap: A cloth bandage wrap used to treat wounds. It's bright white, so you can see it even from the back of the house. 5. Green Puppet: A green puppet in a gray hoodie. It seems too complex for one person. 6. Sparkling Cider: Contains no alcohol, but a lot of bubbles. 7. Prop Deer: A life-sized, fake deer. A dark aura lurks behind its plastic eyes. 8. Sprite: A replacement lemon-lime soda that will not scare the children! 9. Photobook: A gold-gilded leather book, adorned with perfectly-cut malachite gems and brass hinges. A few of the images seem to involve a stately Victorian-era family and their horses, but the majority seem to be of very beautiful women of different ethnicities and occupations in beautiful clothing. 10. French Flag: A large French flag on a long flagpole. Seems like it'd be fun to wave around. 11. Red Opera Gloves: A pair of long satin gloves that are perfect for a night out at the opera! These ones would be good at hiding stains...you know, from tomato juice or something. 12. Hair Gel: A tin of hair gel. Use it to keep that 'do looking good! 13. Compact:A small compact mirror for applying makeup on the go. This will always help you look your best! 14. Bottled Water: Any good show sells concessions, and bottled water is a must! It doesn't say which mountain spring it was bottled from, though. 15. Herbal Tea: A box of herbal tea. It's supposed to be very good for easing stressed vocal chords! 16. Wine: A fancy goblet full of wine. 17. Full of Beans: A can with a simple blue label, with blue lettering on a white field. It is, as the label implies, full of beans. 18. Cologne: A fine French cologne with an irresistible, masculine scent. 19. Pregnant Loser Self-Pitying Pie (Flambe): A mincemeat pie with a rolled oats crust. It's...on fire?! 20. Duct Tape: This thick silver tape is the key to holding together any show! 21. I Hate My Husband Pie: A bittersweet chocolate pie drowned in caramel. It tastes delicious but it leaves you feeling a little miserable afterwards. 22. Flannel: It's a black flannel! How comfy and warm! 23. Hair Gel: A tin of hair gel. Use it to keep that 'do looking good! 24. Teddy Bear: A giant teddy bear, such as one might win at a carnival. It has an odd sharp smell to it, sort of like...gunpowder? 25. Everlasting Gobstobber: A single piece of hard candy. No matter how long you suck on it, it never grows smaller. 26. Fun Home Flyer: An advertisement for the Bechdel Funeral Home. You think that's where your friends' bodies went? 27. The Ultimate Treasure: A pair of tickets, apparently to a show called Hamilton. The vending machine slides them over with an odd air of reverence. 28. Printed Email: Who wrote this shit? It sounds like Air Supply and it's addressed to Connor Murphy. 29. Beans: A leather pouch with four beans inside. They don't seem to do much. 30. Dancer's Belt: When you have Certain Dangling Anatomy, this will support you in all the right ways and places. 31. Meat Pie: One meat pie, still warm. It smells delicious...? 32. Oklahoma Snowglobe: A souvenier snowglobe from the great state of Oklahoma. When you shake it, a tiny voice inside goes "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO - " 33. My Friends: A beautiful set of shining silver straight razors, rolled in a leather sleeve. They're honed wickedly sharp. 34. Sonic the Hedgehog Plush: An almost life size plush of Sega's famous mascot. The kind of plush you'd win at an arcade... or be given if you were voted the Sega Staff Image Girl. 35. Be More Chill(y): Mountain Dew flavored ice cream! 36. Amber Chunk: A gnarled chunk of amber. It is incredibly hard and impossible to break by normal means. 37. Maple-Glazed Donut: Hope you don't get grounded for eating these. 38. Gorgeous Breastplate: A thin golden breastplate. It's made of real metal, but seems to fasten onto the body with glittery pink ribbons
CONGRATULATIONS
2. Enchanted Rose: A rose in a glass container that glows with a faint pink light. It looks magical, but on closer inspection, it's actually battery-powered.
3. Green Elixir: Have another drink, my dark-eyed beauty... A green liquid in a small bottle made of frosted green glass. Drinking it will reveal that it is 1) very tasty and 2) straight absinthe.
4. Bandage Wrap: A cloth bandage wrap used to treat wounds. It's bright white, so you can see it even from the back of the house.
5. Green Puppet: A green puppet in a gray hoodie. It seems too complex for one person.
6. Sparkling Cider: Contains no alcohol, but a lot of bubbles.
7. Prop Deer: A life-sized, fake deer. A dark aura lurks behind its plastic eyes.
8. Sprite: A replacement lemon-lime soda that will not scare the children!
9. Photobook: A gold-gilded leather book, adorned with perfectly-cut malachite gems and brass hinges. A few of the images seem to involve a stately Victorian-era family and their horses, but the majority seem to be of very beautiful women of different ethnicities and occupations in beautiful clothing.
10. French Flag: A large French flag on a long flagpole. Seems like it'd be fun to wave around.
11. Red Opera Gloves: A pair of long satin gloves that are perfect for a night out at the opera! These ones would be good at hiding stains...you know, from tomato juice or something.
12. Hair Gel: A tin of hair gel. Use it to keep that 'do looking good!
13. Compact:A small compact mirror for applying makeup on the go. This will always help you look your best!
14. Bottled Water: Any good show sells concessions, and bottled water is a must! It doesn't say which mountain spring it was bottled from, though.
15. Herbal Tea: A box of herbal tea. It's supposed to be very good for easing stressed vocal chords!
16. Wine: A fancy goblet full of wine.
17. Full of Beans: A can with a simple blue label, with blue lettering on a white field. It is, as the label implies, full of beans.
18. Cologne: A fine French cologne with an irresistible, masculine scent.
19. Pregnant Loser Self-Pitying Pie (Flambe): A mincemeat pie with a rolled oats crust. It's...on fire?!
20. Duct Tape: This thick silver tape is the key to holding together any show!
21. I Hate My Husband Pie: A bittersweet chocolate pie drowned in caramel. It tastes delicious but it leaves you feeling a little miserable afterwards.
22. Flannel: It's a black flannel! How comfy and warm!
23. Hair Gel: A tin of hair gel. Use it to keep that 'do looking good!
24. Teddy Bear: A giant teddy bear, such as one might win at a carnival. It has an odd sharp smell to it, sort of like...gunpowder?
25. Everlasting Gobstobber: A single piece of hard candy. No matter how long you suck on it, it never grows smaller.
26. Fun Home Flyer: An advertisement for the Bechdel Funeral Home. You think that's where your friends' bodies went?
27. The Ultimate Treasure: A pair of tickets, apparently to a show called Hamilton. The vending machine slides them over with an odd air of reverence.
28. Printed Email: Who wrote this shit? It sounds like Air Supply and it's addressed to Connor Murphy.
29. Beans: A leather pouch with four beans inside. They don't seem to do much.
30. Dancer's Belt: When you have Certain Dangling Anatomy, this will support you in all the right ways and places.
31. Meat Pie: One meat pie, still warm. It smells delicious...?
32. Oklahoma Snowglobe: A souvenier snowglobe from the great state of Oklahoma. When you shake it, a tiny voice inside goes "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO - "
33. My Friends: A beautiful set of shining silver straight razors, rolled in a leather sleeve. They're honed wickedly sharp.
34. Sonic the Hedgehog Plush: An almost life size plush of Sega's famous mascot. The kind of plush you'd win at an arcade... or be given if you were voted the Sega Staff Image Girl.
35. Be More Chill(y): Mountain Dew flavored ice cream!
36. Amber Chunk: A gnarled chunk of amber. It is incredibly hard and impossible to break by normal means.
37. Maple-Glazed Donut: Hope you don't get grounded for eating these.
38. Gorgeous Breastplate: A thin golden breastplate. It's made of real metal, but seems to fasten onto the body with glittery pink ribbons