1. Yellow Wig: The hair as yellow as corn. It's a blonde wig of enormous length. How could anyone possibly have hair this long?
2. Iver-Johnson .32: Rubber handles, owls stamped on the sides. It's unloaded.
3. Sonic the Hedgehog Plush: An almost life size plush of Sega's famous mascot. The kind of plush you'd win at an arcade... or be given if you were voted the Sega Staff Image Girl.
4. French Flag: A large French flag on a long flagpole. Seems like it'd be fun to wave around.
5. Turn Off the Lawsuit: A plastic neck brace with a an almost illegible signature starting with a "P" (but maybe an "R") scribbled on it in black sharpie.
6. Hair Gel: A tin of hair gel. Use it to keep that 'do looking good!
7. Magical Mister Mistoffelees: A tuxedo cat plush. It's chest is bedazzled with small plastic gems. The tag around it's neck says "Magical Mister Mistoffelees".
8. Duct Tape: This thick silver tape is the key to holding together any show!
9. Red Cape: The cape as red as blood. It's very warm.
10. Trumpet: It's a trumpet. Luckily, there's only one.
11. Meat Pie: One meat pie, still warm. It smells delicious...?
12. Green Puppet: A green puppet in a gray hoodie. It seems too complex for one person.
13. Opera Glasses: A pair of old-fashioned opera glasses, like little binoculars with a stick. They look antique, but still work well.
14. 76 Trombones: Seventy-six trombones fall out of the merchandise booth. Fucking rip.
15. Cubed Trousers: A pair of inexplicably square pants.
16. The Ultimate Treasure: A pair of tickets, apparently to a show called Hamilton. The vending machine slides them over with an odd air of reverence.
17. Black Hat: A pointed black hat. It's really sharp - and you know what they say. Black is this year's pink!
18. The Lizard and I: A small green lizard. Yes, it's alive.
19. Death Note: A black notebook with the words DEATH NOTE written across the front. The first page reads "The human whose name is written in this note shall die." Luckily (or unluckily) it's just an ordinary, if edgy, notebook.
20. Chocolate Strawberry Oasis Pie: A silky, bittersweet chocolate pie topped with fresh strawberries. It tastes heavenly.
CONGRATULATIONS
2. Iver-Johnson .32: Rubber handles, owls stamped on the sides. It's unloaded.
3. Sonic the Hedgehog Plush: An almost life size plush of Sega's famous mascot. The kind of plush you'd win at an arcade... or be given if you were voted the Sega Staff Image Girl.
4. French Flag: A large French flag on a long flagpole. Seems like it'd be fun to wave around.
5. Turn Off the Lawsuit: A plastic neck brace with a an almost illegible signature starting with a "P" (but maybe an "R") scribbled on it in black sharpie.
6. Hair Gel: A tin of hair gel. Use it to keep that 'do looking good!
7. Magical Mister Mistoffelees: A tuxedo cat plush. It's chest is bedazzled with small plastic gems. The tag around it's neck says "Magical Mister Mistoffelees".
8. Duct Tape: This thick silver tape is the key to holding together any show!
9. Red Cape: The cape as red as blood. It's very warm.
10. Trumpet: It's a trumpet. Luckily, there's only one.
11. Meat Pie: One meat pie, still warm. It smells delicious...?
12. Green Puppet: A green puppet in a gray hoodie. It seems too complex for one person.
13. Opera Glasses: A pair of old-fashioned opera glasses, like little binoculars with a stick. They look antique, but still work well.
14. 76 Trombones: Seventy-six trombones fall out of the merchandise booth. Fucking rip.
15. Cubed Trousers: A pair of inexplicably square pants.
16. The Ultimate Treasure: A pair of tickets, apparently to a show called Hamilton. The vending machine slides them over with an odd air of reverence.
17. Black Hat: A pointed black hat. It's really sharp - and you know what they say. Black is this year's pink!
18. The Lizard and I: A small green lizard. Yes, it's alive.
19. Death Note: A black notebook with the words DEATH NOTE written across the front. The first page reads "The human whose name is written in this note shall die." Luckily (or unluckily) it's just an ordinary, if edgy, notebook.
20. Chocolate Strawberry Oasis Pie: A silky, bittersweet chocolate pie topped with fresh strawberries. It tastes heavenly.