1. Turn Off the Lawsuit: A plastic neck brace with a an almost illegible signature starting with a "P" (but maybe an "R") scribbled on it in black sharpie. 2. Red Opera Gloves: A pair of long satin gloves that are perfect for a night out at the opera! These ones would be good at hiding stains...you know, from tomato juice or something. 3. Green Puppet: A green puppet in a gray hoodie. It seems too complex for one person. 4. Yellow Wig: The hair as yellow as corn. It's a blonde wig of enormous length. How could anyone possibly have hair this long? 5. Grammy: A small medal on a pedestal. Congratulations; you've won! 6. Black Hat: A pointed black hat. It's really sharp - and you know what they say. Black is this year's pink! 7. Neeps and Tatties: A Scottish comfort dish of mashed turnips and potatoes with herbs. 8. Crown: A golden crown fit for a king! It's made of plastic, but it would look good on a stage. 9. Bandage Wrap: A cloth bandage wrap used to treat wounds. It's bright white, so you can see it even from the back of the house. 10. Herbal Tea: A box of herbal tea. It's supposed to be very good for easing stressed vocal chords! 11. Red Wig: A curly red wig. Wearing it makes you feel hopeful. 12. Full of Beans: A can with a simple blue label, with blue lettering on a white field. It is, as the label implies, full of beans. 13. Odd Telephone: An odd black telephone. If you pick it up, you can hear a chorus of voices on the other end asking for "Bobby" in a variety of different ways. They won't respond to anything you say. 14. Cubed Trousers: A pair of inexplicably square pants. 15. Razor: A silver straight razor. While it looks extremely real, trying to slice throats will only yield plastic burns. 16. Gorgeous Breastplate: A thin golden breastplate. It's made of real metal, but seems to fasten onto the body with glittery pink ribbons 17. Utility Belt: A belt perfect for hanging various tools and implements on. It's even got a roll of duct tape already attached! 18. Edelweiss: A small white flower contained in a glass vial. It'll greet you every morning. 19. Old-timey Radio: A radio with a retro exterior but state-of-the-art technology inside. Unfortunately, it still doesn't work. 20. Jacket: A jacket heavily modified with paint and patches in a seemingly random but very thorough sort of way. Perfect for an artistic sort of girl! 21. Hair Flower: A bright pink flower hair pin. 22. Tom Jones Cutout: Place him in front of a mic for an instant guest performer. Warm the audience up with a beautiful recording of "Delilah"! 23. Fun Home Flyer: An advertisement for the Bechdel Funeral Home. You think that's where your friends' bodies went? 24. Prop Deer: A life-sized, fake deer. A dark aura lurks behind its plastic eyes. 25. Death Note: A black notebook with the words DEATH NOTE written across the front. The first page reads "The human whose name is written in this note shall die." Luckily (or unluckily) it's just an ordinary, if edgy, notebook. 26. Black Opera Gloves: A pair of long satin gloves that are perfect for a night out at the opera! These ones are black, like your soul. 27. The Ultimate Treasure: A pair of tickets, apparently to a show called Hamilton. The vending machine slides them over with an odd air of reverence. 28. Don Juan Triumphant: The book and music to a show called "Don Juan Triumphant". 29. French Flag: A large French flag on a long flagpole. Seems like it'd be fun to wave around. 30. Crystals: You've found your frequency! These pretty purple, blue and pink crystals speak to you. What do they say? "Buy more crystals." 31. Black Coffee: Get your cup of roasted coffee, your morning cup of Joey~. 32. Purple Colored Contact: Just what you need to change your boring eyes to something beautiful and ideal! Unfortunately, it’s a single, not a set… One’s better than none, right?
CONGRATULATIONS
2. Red Opera Gloves: A pair of long satin gloves that are perfect for a night out at the opera! These ones would be good at hiding stains...you know, from tomato juice or something.
3. Green Puppet: A green puppet in a gray hoodie. It seems too complex for one person.
4. Yellow Wig: The hair as yellow as corn. It's a blonde wig of enormous length. How could anyone possibly have hair this long?
5. Grammy: A small medal on a pedestal. Congratulations; you've won!
6. Black Hat: A pointed black hat. It's really sharp - and you know what they say. Black is this year's pink!
7. Neeps and Tatties: A Scottish comfort dish of mashed turnips and potatoes with herbs.
8. Crown: A golden crown fit for a king! It's made of plastic, but it would look good on a stage.
9. Bandage Wrap: A cloth bandage wrap used to treat wounds. It's bright white, so you can see it even from the back of the house.
10. Herbal Tea: A box of herbal tea. It's supposed to be very good for easing stressed vocal chords!
11. Red Wig: A curly red wig. Wearing it makes you feel hopeful.
12. Full of Beans: A can with a simple blue label, with blue lettering on a white field. It is, as the label implies, full of beans.
13. Odd Telephone: An odd black telephone. If you pick it up, you can hear a chorus of voices on the other end asking for "Bobby" in a variety of different ways. They won't respond to anything you say.
14. Cubed Trousers: A pair of inexplicably square pants.
15. Razor: A silver straight razor. While it looks extremely real, trying to slice throats will only yield plastic burns.
16. Gorgeous Breastplate: A thin golden breastplate. It's made of real metal, but seems to fasten onto the body with glittery pink ribbons
17. Utility Belt: A belt perfect for hanging various tools and implements on. It's even got a roll of duct tape already attached!
18. Edelweiss: A small white flower contained in a glass vial. It'll greet you every morning.
19. Old-timey Radio: A radio with a retro exterior but state-of-the-art technology inside. Unfortunately, it still doesn't work.
20. Jacket: A jacket heavily modified with paint and patches in a seemingly random but very thorough sort of way. Perfect for an artistic sort of girl!
21. Hair Flower: A bright pink flower hair pin.
22. Tom Jones Cutout: Place him in front of a mic for an instant guest performer. Warm the audience up with a beautiful recording of "Delilah"!
23. Fun Home Flyer: An advertisement for the Bechdel Funeral Home. You think that's where your friends' bodies went?
24. Prop Deer: A life-sized, fake deer. A dark aura lurks behind its plastic eyes.
25. Death Note: A black notebook with the words DEATH NOTE written across the front. The first page reads "The human whose name is written in this note shall die." Luckily (or unluckily) it's just an ordinary, if edgy, notebook.
26. Black Opera Gloves: A pair of long satin gloves that are perfect for a night out at the opera! These ones are black, like your soul.
27. The Ultimate Treasure: A pair of tickets, apparently to a show called Hamilton. The vending machine slides them over with an odd air of reverence.
28. Don Juan Triumphant: The book and music to a show called "Don Juan Triumphant".
29. French Flag: A large French flag on a long flagpole. Seems like it'd be fun to wave around.
30. Crystals: You've found your frequency! These pretty purple, blue and pink crystals speak to you. What do they say? "Buy more crystals."
31. Black Coffee: Get your cup of roasted coffee, your morning cup of Joey~.
32. Purple Colored Contact: Just what you need to change your boring eyes to something beautiful and ideal! Unfortunately, it’s a single, not a set… One’s better than none, right?